Freedom

Letting go of your brain and acting on impulse really helps the true emotion of a moment shine through. I experienced this Wednesday while doing a scene with Matt. Jim Bonnie gave us a script that was pretty simple and had room for a lot of tension. Then the group came up with a scenario. I was a recovered alcoholic/drug addict and Matt was my son who was a using drug addict who had just escapes from rehab. After our first time doing the scene the he made us do it again using the Miezner repetition technique. This technique added more truth and tension to the scene because our emotions were heightened and we were acting on our impulses. Then he had us do the scene one more time without repetition but still using the same level of energy and impulse. In the middle of the scene Jim Bonnie got up and took away our scripts. We continued the scene with improvisation which came more naturally than ever before. There was no fear or hesitation and I felt a deep connection to the scene. Then I told Matt he was killing himself and breaking my heart. I Kept telling him he was breaking ,y heart and I felt a lump of pain growing in my throat. Jim Bonnie got up and walked over to me. He pushed my torso down so that I was hanging my head as if I was about to touch my toes. He started shaking me and telling me to let out the pain. My face got warm and my eyes began to swell. I lifted myself up and continued the scene. Within 5 seconds I was hysterically crying and yelling at Matt to get better. Crying during a scene was an incredible experience that I never got to feel before. I'm not sure how Bonnie knew that there was pain waiting in my throat but I'm glad that he noticed and acted upon it.

Storytelling...the profession

Just seeing Julia in her brightly colored skirt and purple scarf was a treat. She had the image of a beautiful giddy free true hippie and hat alone made me feel invited and ready to jump into the art of storytelling. Her vivacious attitude and desire to be silly was great to be around after a long day of stiff high school life.

The first thing we all did was introduce ourselves using a motion that went with the sound of our names. We did this not only to get her to know us but also to start activating our bodies. Julia said that our bodies are very important during storytelling because you need to be alert and animated to really grasp the attention of your audience. So we did some light stretching and wiggly with our bodies to warm them up. Then we started to excersize our IMAGINATIONS. She told us to view the whole workshop from the eyes of our inner child (which totally related to the Jim Bonnie workshop as well) because she says that not only are her stories normally directed to children, but also because the children within us are the ones who make us bloom with creativity.

We listened to her tell a story and the way she did it was jsut perfect. It had a great blend between animation, song, truth, and simplicity. I really enjoyed it from the perspective of young megan and old megan. Although I definitely did feel more of the sillies from the little me. Then she gave us the chance to share our own improvised stories which was also great. I loved watching Elissa and Molly make up their stories because I could totally see what they were like as children.

Overall the workshop was fun and interesting. I really just had a blast because of how free and giddy it was. I really hope Julia comes back in because honstly I am fascinated by the idea of someone making their living off of being a storyteller. What a life...A PROFESSSIONAL Storyteller!

workshop

Last Wednesday the acting workshop became an extremely emotional environment. Half of the group cried hysterically at different times. I was one of the people bawling. Although crying is very familiar to me, this was a little different. I wasn't fighting myself while crying, and when I began to Jim must have noticed because he came over and pulled my hand away from my mouth and held it. He wanted us to be free, even if that meant being vulnerable.

Our vulnerability is what made the workshop so powerful. I've been afraid to write about it, because I don't have any words that can truly express the experience I had. But I'm writing this now solely because I want to have another incredible experience tomorrow and I know I need to blog about the workshop to get that chance. It's just very difficult for me to write about something so powerful and brief without making it lose its value.

Even the idea of vulnerability is scary, let alone experiencing it openly in a group. But I understand now how necessary weakness and openness is in art. I've always somewhat known that but I had never seen it so clearly before. Every one of us said that our inner child wanted to play, or be free, or have fun! And once we centered ourselves around being this inner child we all felt shaky and vulnerable. But you have to be vulnerable to be free. And I believe everyone experienced that.

Round Two!

The next workshop opened with a meditation warmup. All of the students in the group went onto our backs and closed our eyes. Jim spoke softly about a forest we were walking through. He said the forest was familiar and safe. I was immediatly relaxed and open to the exercise. He spoke about a child in the forest dressed like a wild jungle kid, and I saw her as a young version of myself. By the end of the meditation that's exactly who he said ti was. The children were us and we can't forget about them and about having fun. With that we got up and starting screaming the magic word: NO! It feels sooooo good to scream No! REPEATEDLY. I say it for every time I wish I could have said no or for every time I have been angry.
The workshop is somewhat emotionally exhausting but at the same time it relieves me of so much. The physicality of throwing my arms down while screaming like a wild beast feels soooo good. I can't wait for what he shows us next! :)

Repetitive Resentment

Staring into the eyes of a good good friend of mine, screaming, begging her to help me, and getting nothing helpful in return. Every time she refused the fuse inside my chest got thinner and shorter. I could feel my face turn red as a beet. My chest tightened, my arms flailed in the air, and my voice traveled like a bullet into her head. "HELP ME!" I'd scream, and in return i'd hear "HELP YOURSELF!" "HELP ME!" "HELP YOURSELF" Each repetition filled me with more and more pure resentment. Acting had never been so easy because it was no longer pretend. Every word was filled with raging true emotion! The simple task of repeating phrases and exerting energy created a whole new style of acting. This first workshop was a great experience and I couldn't wait for the next session.